11.19.2015

LIFE UPDATE: LOSING MY VOICE, NEW STARTS & LEARNING LESSONS


HELLO THERE! It's been a long few weeks since I've posted on this side of the internet. Music has been keeping my October and November jam packed, which in a nut shell has been bitter-sweet.
(I would describe it more like the dark chocolate kind of bitter-sweet, rather than lemons and honey. The good kind of bitter that teaches you things. I hope that makes sense!)
About 4 months ago something called laryngitis decided to pay me a visit. For anyone who doesn't know, this is a complete and utter nightmare for anyone who sings for a living, or generally likes to talk excessive amounts like myself. A sore throat soon turned into three long, difficult and frustrating months of cancelling gigs, work sessions, and events with loved ones. Simple things like speaking became so difficult I eventually spent a lot of time at home recovering.

Thankfully I feel SO much better now. I can sing again, speak fine, and I'm nothing but thankful for that. 
I've learnt a lot of lessons during these crazy few months, and I thought I'd share them! I considered keeping it all to myself and getting on with things; however in the western world where everyone likes their lives to appear as 'instagramable' as possible, I believe it's always nice and healthy to share some truths and reality.
(Plus I always appreciate reading posts that remind me that I'm not the only one who isn't completely normal. Especially ones about falling over in public places)


Here are some things I now know:

1. My value isn't in what I do with my time or my work status; it exists whether I think it does or not. It just IS. 

I know this seems SO obvious to some, but when you find yourself unable to fulfil the expectations of those around you, and yourself, it can almost feel like failure. I try to hold a lot of things lightly in my life, but I didn't realise how much not being able to DO things affected how much value I placed on myself. When I hit the 2 month mark of not being well and seeing no changes, my mindset switched. I realised that whether I would sing again or not (as dramatic as it sounds) I'd be okay. As human beings we have irreplacable value - regardless of whether we can hold a note or not. 

2. It's okay to prioritise things... and not feel bad about it

I've always enjoyed being busy with different creative projects. Music, blogging and Youtube have become an amazing creative outlet for me in different ways. When I couldn't regularly upload videos or I cancelled gigs, I often felt like I was letting myself and those around me down. I soon learnt, however, that it's okay to rest. We don't always have to do everything at once!
It's okay to put things down and pick them up when it's right. It's fine to focus on different things at different times.
(Even Beyonce prioritises. She has a team of about 192739 people behind her, and she takes time out of her tour scehduele to go on fancy vacations to deserted islands to rest. My version of this would probably be going for a peaceful walk in a field somewhere, but you get my point.)

3. Great things can come from difficult circumstances

It's funny how when you can't do a lot, you have a lot of free time. During this time I gained so much clarity for future plans and ideas. I was so used to going through the motions that a lot of things I did on a daily basis became the norm. Having time to pray, meditate, think about what I really want, and why I'm here made a MASSIVE difference. In it's own way, having that time made the whole experience worth it. The things I work towards now have a fresh purpose, and that's priceless.


4. There's no rush, there's no race.

There were plenty of times I felt like I took 100 steps back. Having been in a flow of writing music that I love and working with wonderful people, putting this all on hold was very hard. In a way, I had no choice but to learn true rest. Not that kind of rest where you're still technically thinking about what your next move is. Total rest. This also increased my patience towards the different projects I was working on. I now understand the importance of taking your time to produce the best product, whether that be a song, video or written piece. There's no rush, there's no race.


All in all, I'm very much at peace. Thank you for all the kind words, encouragement and the new people who've joined me on this side of the web. I'm really looking forward to sharing new projects and music with you all early next year. Keep a look out!
Happy Wednesday 
x


x




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